;;; welcome.mhtml -*- Mode: Meta-HTML; -*-
;;; Zippy Homepage
;;;
;;;  Copyright (c) 1996 Universal Access Inc.
;;;  Author: Henry Minsky (hqm@ua.com)
;;;  Changes: Jarlath O'Carroll (jarlath@oisin.com) Thu May  2 00:27:08 1996
;;;  More Changes: Brian J. Fox (bfox@ua.com) Sun Jun 23 14:29:30 1996

<defvar layout::layout plain>
<defvar site::background white>
<defvar site::inhibit-navigation true>
<require tagsets/border>

;;; A few simple macros make the world a better place.
<defmacro simple-body title>
  <html>
  <head> <title> <get-var title> </title> </head>
  <body bgcolor="#FFFFFF">
  <layout::page>
    <plain-text>
      %body
    </plain-text>
    <p>
    <center>
      <font size=-1>
      Designed by <a href="http://www.ua.com/">Universal Access Inc.</a>
      <br>
      Implemented in <a href="http://www.metahtml.com/">
      <font size="-1">Meta-HTML</font></a>
      </font>
    </center>
  </layout::page>
  </body>
  </html>
</defmacro>

<defun zippy url>
  <get-var mhtml::url-to-dir>/zippy.mhtml/<get-var-once url>
</defun>

<defun zref host>
  <concat 
   <a href="<zippy http://<get-var host>/>">
   <get-var host>
   </a>>
</defun>

<if <get-var-once posted::url> <redirect <zippy <get-var posted::url>>>>

<simple-body "Zippy meets Meta-HTML">
  <h2>Zippy Meets Meta-HTML</h2>
  <hr>
  <img align=right src="<get-var mhtml::url-to-dir>/images/zippy.gif">
  <concat <a href="<zippy http://www.microsoft.com/>">
	  <img align=right src="<get-var mhtml::url-to-dir>/images/week.gif">
	  </a>>

    Are you tired of the same old content at those same old web sites?
    The <b><Meta-HTML> Active Filter</b> freshens up any Web page!

    Simply type the URL of your favorite web site into the box below, and
    click on the Zippy quote. This works well with corporate sites such as
    a <a href="<zippy http://www.ibm.com/lvg/annual96.html>">
    speech from IBM's CEO</a>, <zref www.jaguarvehicles.com>,
    <zref www.eds.com>, or government sites such as <zref www.house.gov>.
    Once you have fetched a page, try following some of the links on
    it, and they will be, uh, fixed, too.

    <hr>
    <br clear=all>
    <form method="post" action="<get-var mhtml::current-doc>">
      <center>
	The URL: <input name="url" type="text" value="" maxlength="1024"
			size="50">

	<input name="action" value="Bo Derek ruined my life!" type="submit">
      </center>
    </form>

    <h2>Other Starting Points</h2>
    <font size=+2>
    <ul>
      <li> <a href="<zippy http://www.yahoo.com/>">Yahoo Directory</a>
      <li> <a href="<zippy http://www.gnn.com/>">Global Network Navigator</a>
      <li>
      <a href="<zippy http://home.netscape.com/home/internet-search.html>">
	Netscape Net Search
      </a>
    </ul>

    </font>
    <h3>Best responses so far to the Zippy filter</h3>

<pre>
From: starlite@nando.net
Date: Thu, 05 Oct 95 19:52:04
To: &lt;hqm@ua.com&gt;
Subject: Stupid sayings
X-Mailer: IBM WebExplorer

What is the meaning of all these stupid quotes thrown in the middle of
everything?

I do not find this amusing and may not visit this site again! If I
want to read stupid jokes, I'll read my own comic books. I came here
to read about dodge trucks, not meaningless and dumb commentary
remarks!

Grow up!!!

<hr>

Date: Wed, 25 Oct 95 07:55:56 -0700
From: Rich Bennett &lt;74644.2176@compuserve.com&gt;
Organization: indirect.com
To: hqm@ua.com

I've been using your active filter while perusing various religious
web sites and the experience has been... surreal.

Absolutely mind-boggling when a Zippy quote comes up in the middle of
a right-wing tirade. You just never know when it is real or Zippy -
especially the one about the nuns and teen appeal.

Rich Bennett

<hr>

Date: Sat, 13 Jan 96 08:51:20 -0800
From: Jim Lynch &lt;jlynch@computek.net&gt;
Organization: Compu-Tek International
To: hqm@ua.com

&gt; --------------------------------------------------------------------
&gt; 
&gt; HTML Active Filter by (hqm@ua.com)
&gt; Quotes from various comic books and strips by Bill Griffith
&gt; 
&gt; Enter URL:

What is this?
What am I supposed to do?


Date: 14 Jan 1996 18:14:50 U
From: "Tom Purcell" &lt;tom@invitrogen.com&gt;
Subject: Well done
To: "Zippy the Pinhead" &lt;hqm@ua.com&gt;

Your Zippy filter is the first thing on the web that ever made me wet
my pants!  It did wonders to my company's web page.  Remember:
Frivolty is a stern taskmaster.

Love, Tommy

<hr>

Date: Tue, 16 Jan 96 20:17 IST
To: hqm@ua.com
From: Jim Lynch &lt;jlynch@computek.net&gt;
Subject: Help!

Do you have any idea what this form is (see bottom of message)? It
appears whenever I try to download some software from a sharware site
- such as from 'http://web-proto.ua.com19730/cgi-bin/sfx/http://cwsapps.texas.net/image.html'

What URL is it looking for? Is this form really necessary? I suspect
that one of the kids pushed some button causing this form to be
activated because it just started appearing a couple of days ago. They
don't have a clue as to what they might have done and neither do I.

Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated!

<hr>

Date: Sat, 20 Jan 1996 20:08:02 -0800
From: Paul Quek &lt;firsthac@singnet.com.sg&gt;
To: hqm@ua.com
Subject: What's this about?
X-URL: http://www.ua.com/cgi-bin/sfx/http://www.intac.com/~dimitri/dh/which1.html

Hi,

Except for the (graphic) phallic symbol and the cool picture, what's 
does "Which mushroom will he use to end his story?" all about?
Sorry, I am really puzzled!

- Paul Quek

<hr>

Date: Sun, 4 Feb 1996 20:36:57 +0100
To: hqm@ua.com
From: marcus@student.his.se (Marcus Berglund)
Subject: Zippy

AT LAST !!
Something on the web that really make sense!

 _________________________________________________________________

Marcus Berglund ph +46 500435958, +46 70 5636709
Home - Email marcus@student.his.se Homepage
http://www.student.his.se/~marcus
Work - marcus@fotoslide.bmc.uu.se     http://fotoslide.bmc.uu.se

<hr>

Date: Tue, 13 Feb 1996 03:43:04 -0800
From: Tom Most &lt;thedoctor@sonic.net&gt;
Organization: Sonoma County Online
To: hqm@ua.com
Subject: Zippy

Thanks guys!  If I can't see pictures of naked women, discuss
abortion, or anything else that the pinheads in Washington decide may
not fit into their propanda machine, at the very least the true and
original Pinhead "Zippy" will spice up the resultant banalities
guaranteed under the Telecom Bill.

The Doctor
thedoctor@socool.com
Sonoma County Online
http://www.socool.com/socool/

<hr>

Date: Sun, 25 Feb 1996 22:03:07 -0500
From: Milton Kay &lt;miltonk@inch.com$gt;
To: hqm@ua.com
Subject: Question
X-URL: http://www.ua.com/cgi-bin/sfx/http://www.tnp.com

This filter is really funny.  Does it damage the original file in any
way.

Milton Kay {Voice and Data specialist in the New York City area)

<hr>

Date: Wed, 6 Mar 1996 00:54:56 -0600
From: bob &lt;Robert.M.Cairo@shell.super-highway.net&gt;
To: hqm@ua.com
Subject: Those stupid quotes

What's with all the stupid quotes embedded in everything I'm trying
to read online?  I don't like them, and I don't appreciate their 
presence.  Either move them to the beginning and end of the 
documents or get rid of them!

Much obliged.

<hr>

Date: Tue, 05 Mar 96 21:15:34 0000
From: Josh Pettit &lt;jpettit@chaph.usc.edu&gt;
Organization: University of Southern California
To: hqm@ua.com

I on't quite know what's going on here, but i'm Amy-Cecilia, and if
you're the person who's been messing wiht my homepage, I'd sincerely
appreciate it if you'd stop.  It's nice to know you bothered to think
of "improvements" , but since it is my page, I'd like it if you stayed
off.

Thank you.

Amy-Cecilia Sanders

<hr>

Date: Sun, 10 Mar 1996 16:07:59 -0600
From: bob <Robert.M.Cairo@shell.super-highway.net>
To: hqm@ua.com
Subject: Jibberish

Where do the assinine comments come from? They interrupt my 
reading, and are not funny, if that's what they are supposed to be.

Just to let you know, being on-line is not worth it with all the s--- 
interjected into the valuable information.

<hr>

From: xxxx@west.net
Date: Wed, 8 May 1996 06:36:12 -0700
To: info@ua.com
Subject: Universal Access Inc.
X-Mailer: Meta-HTML mailto.mhtml

 
Name: Xxxxx Xxxxx

Email: xxx@west.net
Add to Mailing List: Yes

Comment: Someone that stores files on your server has stolen my entire
web site and altered the pages with what they must think are funny
jokes and put them up on your server.  I do not appreciate this! Just
like you I'm trying to do business on the Internet and this kind of
stuff really is uncalled for. Here is the URL of the page:
http://www.ua.com/cgi-bin/sfx/www.west.net/~regent Their e-mail
address is hqm@ua.com I'm sure if they are clever enough to do stuff
like this that they can design their own page!  I would appreciate it
if you would remove these pages from your server and ask whoever did
it to stop mucking about with other people's pages. I have also
e-mailed the person and have asked them to remove the pages.

 
Name: Rich Warren
City: Pottstown
State: PA
Zip: 19464
Email: rboknows@pclogiconline.com
Add to Mailing List: Yes

Comment: 
Man, this is truly hysterical.  I may not surf again without 
the zippy filter!!

Name: Donna-Maree Bennetts
City: PORTLAND
State: vi
Zip: 3305
Email: donnam@iconnect.net.au
Add to Mailing List: No

Comment:
Please stopo the filter going to my page: http://www.
iconnect.net.au/~cafe/cybercafe.html

I HATED IT!

Name: Bill Freese
City: Belgrade
State: MT
Zip: 59714
Email: iedbf@msu.oscs.montana.edu
Add to Mailing List: No

Comment: 
This is almost certainly the finest thing
I have seen on the Web. When you figure out
how to apply this filter to the rest of the
universe, don't tell me about it. Just do it.

</pre>

</simple-body>
