From news.cs.tut.fi!news.funet.fi!sunic!uunet!ogicse!uwm.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!not-for-mail Tue May 11 09:25:06 EET DST 1993 Article: 20068 of rec.radio.shortwave Path: news.cs.tut.fi!news.funet.fi!sunic!uunet!ogicse!uwm.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!not-for-mail From: MOORE@tmu1.mcrest.edu ("Don Moore" ) Newsgroups: rec.radio.shortwave Subject: DX humor - DXAholics Message-ID: Date: 10 May 93 08:00:18 GMT Article-I.D.: tmu1.MAILQUEUE-101.930510125321.480 Sender: daemon@cs.utexas.edu Organization: Teikyo Marycrest University Lines: 117 NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu ARE YOU A DX-AHOLIC? "Maybe you know me. I am a respected member of my community. I have a good job, a wonderful family, and am generally considered to be on the fast track to success. But, unfortunately, I have a problem. "My name is Ken, and I am a DX-aholic. "I first realized I had a problem when I woke up after Memorial Day weekend, 1989, and realized I hadn't been outside the house in over 62 hours, and had been wearing headphones continuously for 3 days. The worst part was that I had spent the entire time looking for pirate broadcasters and I couldn't remember what I had heard without looking at my log! "Yes, DX-aholics used to be something funny - you would see comedians, for example, working someone listening to a radio during church into their skits almost daily. The Three Stooges and Abbot and Costello regularly electrocuted themselves by listening to radios during thunderstorms. But, times have changed and this affliction is now recognized for what it is - a disease. Maybe you recognize some of the traits in yourself or a loved one. Maybe you aren't sure if you have a problem. The National DX-Enders (NDXE) has compiled a list: THE WARNING SIGNS OF DX-AHOLISM ---- * Do you find you need to DX "just a little" in the morning to get yourself going? * Do you DX in groups? * Do the numbers 1620 and 7415 make you excited? * Have you spent more than $200 in postage this year? * Does DXing interfere with your work? * Have you ever awakened after a night of DXing and not remembered what you've done - until looking at your log? * Does your spouse hide your headphones? * Did your children know how to whistle "Yankee Doodle" before they could talk, or did they sing "BBC" instead of "ABC" when learning the alphabet? * Do you buy a new WRTH every year? * Have you ever missed an appointment because you were DXing? * Do you take a SW or Scanner on vacation so you 'won't miss anything'? * Do you wear headphones while having sex? * Did you begin DXing before age 21? * Do you find yourself DXing even when you haven't consciously set out to listen to the radio? * Do the letters "R-8" make you salivate? * Have you ever DXed until you passed out? * Do you remember you radio's serial number, but forget your anniversary? * Do you DX while driving your car? * Does the phrase "WYFR Bible Reading in Special English" make you anxious? * Do you LISTEN to WWV? * Do postal employees offer you IRCs even before you reach the counter? * Do you DX more than 3 times a week? * Do the words "list log" leave a bad taste in your mouth? * Have you ever been unable to have sex because you had DXed too much? * Have you ever been arrested for violating the ECPA? * Does DXing interfere with your marriage? * Have you ever tried to stop DXing, but found yourself sitting in front of a radio again despite yourself? * Do you keep radios hidden around the house? * Do your friends, family, or co-workers think you have a DX-ing problem? * Do you know where Tristan da Cunha is? ------------- "The NDXE says that if you answered yes to five or more of the above questions, you may have a DXing problem. Just remember, no matter what has happened in the past, and no mattter how bad it is, it isn't too late. "DX-aholism need not ruin your life. I have my problem under control, and believe me; if I can do it so can you. Don't you owe it to yourself and those you love to find out what you can do to keep DXing from ruining your life?" ------------------------------------------------------------- This story is sad, but true. There is no cure for DX- aholism, but it is controllable. We're NDXE's DX-Aholics Anonymous, and we were like you once. We have our problems under control now, and we want to help you get the "DX Monkey" off your back. Our programme isn't easy, but IF YOU ARE MOTIVATED TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE, we can help you get back on the right track. You can become a recovering DX-aholic with the help of others who have been through what you are experiencing. In addition to our famous support groups, we use all the latest behaviour modification techniques, such as forcing you to listen to Special English for extended periods and burning Radio St. Helena QSLs in your presence. It isn't pretty, but neither is DX-aholism. Call today for details and the location of your nearest chapter. DX-Aholics Anonymous: (800) 555-DXDX. Call today -- it may be too late tomorrow! *************************************************************** The above item is excerpted from the 1991 edition of BLANDX, the annual DX humor magazine. Contributions are currently being accepted for the 1993 edition of BLANDX. ************************************************************ * * Don Moore * What were once vices * MOORE@tmu1.mcrest.edu * are now * 11434 140th St. * good DXing habits. * Davenport, IA * * 52804-9538 USA * BLANDX 1990 * * * ************************************************************