"Quote","Attribution Name","Attribution Source","Category","Rating"
"I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.","Chief Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",9
"Sideshow Bob has no decency.  He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.","Chief Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",8
"Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!","Chief Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",7
"She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police. Now where did I put my badge? Hey, that duck's got it.","Chief Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",4
"When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",7
"Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",9.4
"When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",9.1
"I bent my wookie.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",10
"Prinskipper Skippel... Primdable Skimpsker... I found something!","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",10
"I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",9.5
"Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",9.3
"Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",10
"Me fail English? That's unpossible.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",8.7
"My cat's breath smells like cat food.","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",9.8
"I dropped my popstickle in your toy chest","Ralph Wiggum","The Simpsons","Humor",4
"Milhouse: Why does Bart have a comic book? Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying then the last three ""Highlander"" movies.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",7
"But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",4
"Bart: It's valuable, huh?! Comic Book Guy: Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go, for the good of the city.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",9
"Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",5
"Stop right there! I have the only working fazer ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",7
"The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity... .","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",4.3
"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",3
"That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore.","Comic Book Guy","The Simpsons","Humor",4.7
"Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels!)","Apu Nahasapemapetilon","The Simpsons","Humor",8
"Hey, hey, this is not a lending library. If you're not going to buy that thing put it down or I'll blow your heads off","Apu Nahasapemapetilon","The Simpsons","Humor",6
"Shiva H. Vishnu!","Apu Nahasapemapetilon","The Simpsons","Humor",6
"Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by presidents 'til the cows came home! Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!","Grandpa Simpson","The Simpsons","Humor",6
"My Homer is not a communist.  He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.","Grandpa Simpson","The Simpsons","Humor",9
"Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.","Grandpa Simpson","The Simpsons","Humor",9.5
